It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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