She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF