Pappa wants mamma naked
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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