I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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