Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
