Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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