Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
