what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
