Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
