RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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