I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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