If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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