grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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