Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
