he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
