Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
