Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
