Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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