I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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