Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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