How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
