either way he was missing a nipple.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
