Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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