I heard we made out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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