Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
