Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
