ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
