You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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