I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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