Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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