More tranny stories later!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
