woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
