My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
