Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
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After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit