Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him

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(315): I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him http://tfl.nu/jvcn

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(909): View more from California

i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.

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(909): i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar. http://tfl.nu/5kvp

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(812): View more from Indiana

Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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(812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did he notice?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

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(267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.

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(304): I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk. http://tfl.nu/30xs

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(516): View more from New York

Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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(516): Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice http://tfl.nu/slww

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

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(773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit. http://tfl.nu/2ngx

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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(225): I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up. http://tfl.nu/8v67

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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(207): I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine.... (617): This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs. http://tfl.nu/5fub

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ur mom makes the best bacon

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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(570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!

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(616): I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS! http://tfl.nu/eric

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(954): View more from Florida

aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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(954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1

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(309): View more from Illinois

Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.

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(309): Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time. http://tfl.nu/yqup

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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(647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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(617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv

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