yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.