We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.