Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.

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  (812): he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway. http://tfl.nu/rhuh
  Replies (13) Good night (671) Bad night (2157)
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  (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

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  (752): What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall? (209): I think the two go hand in hand. http://tfl.nu/xxhp
  Replies (73) Good night (1188) Bad night (6049)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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  (804): I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work. http://tfl.nu/4b6j
  Replies (9) Good night (3401) Bad night (652)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9469) Bad night (1336)
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  (619): View more from California

  Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?

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  (619): Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose? http://tfl.nu/me2j
  Replies (17) Good night (681) Bad night (4648)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes

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  (865): I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes http://tfl.nu/sup4
  Replies (8) Good night (3340) Bad night (764)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.

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  (646): You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/aqj7
  Replies (15) Good night (7764) Bad night (1284)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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  (763): using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think http://tfl.nu/9ucc
  Replies (3) Good night (2653) Bad night (1015)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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  (512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l
  Replies (6) Good night (908) Bad night (560)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.

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  (303): Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win. http://tfl.nu/txmv
  Replies (7) Good night (1450) Bad night (674)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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  (215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (730)
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  (559): View more from California

  His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY

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  (559): His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY http://tfl.nu/rsnd
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (450)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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  (303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (484)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night

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  (973): Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night http://tfl.nu/x2gj
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.

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  (817): We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible. http://tfl.nu/3c0a
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (157)

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