Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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