true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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