your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
