who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
