don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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