rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
