Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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