is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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