Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
