I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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