Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
