i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
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My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
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I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When are your genitals available?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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