She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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