just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
