Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
