oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it glows. i had to have it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
