The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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