I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
