Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We just shotgunned beers for America
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's always time for handjobs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He? As in you personified your dick?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
