I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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