New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
