Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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