his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize