My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
