I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
